SICK SICK SICK

Some unusual things began to happen this week:  
1) I had sleep geography spanning a couple thousand miles.  In each locale (Chicago, Los Angeles, Orange County), my housemate was sick.  Obviously this was a test of my resistance system if there ever was one.
2) I Raided the medicine cabinet.  I was breaking out the Sudafed in no time, only to find it had a 2008 expiration date.  It had literally been years since I had sought it out.  (Expiration dates are almost always folly set up by pharmaceutical companies to motivate sales, so I had no hesitation to ingest my 12 hour magic tablet)
3)  Kleenex excavation occurred.  I searched for it until settling on a roll of T.P., woefully unprepared for the flow coming out of my face.  A thin roll of T.P. fits surprisingly nicely in the breast pocket of a suit, I discovered.


Yes, 'I got sick'.  I was 'under the weather', that is until I asked myself, 'Is It True?'  


It occurred to me that I had conditioned myself from an early age to think that something dreadful had occurred if I were ill.  Furthermore I had convinced myself that my singular "I hate being sick" resolution was the reason I had so muscularly avoided those pesky nose and throat infections that had spotted my childhood.  


Modern day friends who were coming down with something I was secretly judging how awful their experience must be  - that dreaded state of 'unhealthiness'.


As I felt my throat start to get sore a couple nites ago, then the flowface I mentioned, then the headache that asked me to do one simple thing (LAY DOWN), it occurred to me that the state of being I had shifted into was quite a graceful one.


Without any artificial or illegal substance, my perception and energy had undergone a transformation.  I experienced myself as more present, more directed (to the sofa) and simply more relaxed.
My palate of activity options had shrank considerably -- my brain was not dreaming the dream of umpteen accomplishments.  The focus was on honest physical relief -- assuring that the physical anomalies that were present in my system were gaining relief, affirming Myself through my own rest and self-care.  These are ALWAYS important, yet while ill the experience of them is present 10 fold. 'Sickness' is permission and inspiration to actively and mindfully engage the healing process.  It's a call to action.  


When I had mononucleosis in high school, I spent a lot of time laying in the sun in the backyard, soaking it in.  I was in a more present state than any other time in my youth I can recall, simply basking in my first meditative state.  I was not one to otherwise sit... not in the yard, not at the beach, not in any extended read of my thick social science textbooks.   The condition, mono 'the kissing disease', that I had somehow contracted without a kiss, had conveniently disengaged my brain and thought patterns.  It was a gift and I knew it.  


Taking the healing opportunity with the mono was a gift, a window to what a meditation could look like -- it was sunlit warm 'No Mind', just Presence.  There really was no other choice than to sit with it in the way that I did.  An amazingly powerful choice was made for me -- the choice to heal, be present and enjoy it all at a cellular level.


Flashing back to today (and thankfully it's not a throat so sore that I have to limit my food choices, nor a condition that prevents me from kissing), it was awesome to just sit in my sunwarmed car for extended minutes.  Just sitting there in a parking lot.  Soaking it in would not have been possible without this shifted state of being.  Who would call such a tool 'an illness' when it is giving me the gift  of a warm presence and a relaxed awareness?  How did this become a dis-ease when I feel so much more at ease?


The whole 'sick is bad' think is a sham.  I have watched others over the years not make a big deal out of sickness, but I was too busy seeing their condition through judging eyes, trying to keep them at a distance and fist bump them instead of shake hands.  


The funny thing is that arguing my wellness in a time of sniffles and coughs and Achoos runs against ears hard of hearing in most sectors.  Everyone wants to judge.  Bad Bad Bad.  Can't work work work.  Capitalism takes a plunge.  Look out.  So sick people show up to work to pass the gift to others.


The Cliff's Notes version of what I am saying here from my sneezing pedestal: 'Getting sick', which I have constantly deemed to be a miserable experience most of my life, something to fear, is simply a powerful shift in the state of being.  It opens windows to positive experiences in consciousness, ones more rare and essential to pay attention to, literal gifts.  


While I won't actively seek out this state or start kissing/licking sick people, I can embrace any state of being handed to me.  


Illness = Bliss, especially in the Sun